I used to believe that if i were overly happy, it would be easy for me to slip into slippery edge that was misery.
When I'm happy, I try my hardest not to be overly happy. Because some negative vibes will target me right after that.

That was years ago.
Well, the more you think about it, the more it will happen, you know.

Yes, it really happened several times in the past. Back then, I was laughing about something funny online, that got me cried because of how hilarious it was. Then, something happened. I got one call about something that killed my joyful mood. Instantly.

That's how I believe in 'how hard it is to be happy, to obtain happiness'. Everything moves in balance, I know that. Happy-sad, light-dark, right-left, up-down. I don't know, this is just how I cope. Happiness is out of my reach. I experienced pleasure, not happiness. Talking about happiness, it's like 10 times more than just mere 'pleasure'.

Slowly, I left the way of thinking that 'being overly happy will push me to be sad after that'. It seemed that I wasn't overly sad. But then, I wasn't overly happy too. Life is mediocre.


And recently, the dynamic around my house is slightly different. We had weekend trips more often than before. It's like the last 4 weeks, we went out together. We took photos (that such a energy boost for me), we explored new places, old places with different ambiance. Definitely my kind of happiness.

But then right after that, some minor thing happened, it really killed my mood. That was so unexpected.

And that is life. The bittersweet things happen almost simultaneously. I need to change my frame of thinking to be able to handle that well. I handle the bad times so that I can appreciate good times.