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so much rawr

I think... today is my self-realization day. I become more aware I am in the crisis stage of cannot-talk-in-front-of people. Very, very crisis. I just cant... I cant speak up.
For instance, today was my group presentation bout Community Psychology. A few students asked about our discussion. I think I know the answer for one certain question. BUT I JUST CANT OPEN MY EFFIN MOUTH AND TAKE THE MIC AND SPIT IT OUT.
I dont know if I'm shy or just dumb. I dont have guts to say it.
And you know what? Ehem, when the lecture helped us to answer that  question... I just sat there in my seat with my soul evaporing out from my head. My answer was just like what she's saying
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. How effin terrible?
And I felt so sorry with my group.


After the lecture, I had one hour before my gathering with journalistic class. at 1.15 PM my friends and I slided down from library and sat down with other journalistic's friends. Same here, I felt so terrible for myself in this class. One of the senior became guest in this class. She asked us to make a concept. It's concept for our writing. Because we're in journalistic class, obviously we're trained how to write well. *rolled eyes
When she asked each member to speak up their concept, when it came to me, she saw many flaws in my concept. She passed me by and made me to prepare better concept before she asked me again. 
I felt double terrible. Fyi, I cant stand being wrong. :'(  Because I realized I'm not a kid anymore, I couldnt cry there.


Huh, tough week and tough age. Identity crisis. Huh.

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